i kinda dont like this one.

"Her name is Seraya
& I admit I love her.
Every second of everyday
Im always thinking of her.
She's madd cool & dumb pretty
Im so lucky to have her with me."
No one's ever said that,
or let alone wrote it.
Sometimes I feel like Im not even worth it.
I get a bunch of loose ends,
Walking away with no goodbyes.
Some hugs ,no kisses.
& A bunch of lies.
My heart's a soldier
& its ready for war
but it doesn't want to fight alone anymore.
Its looking for a veteran that knows
the battle like the back of his hand,
an accountable man to steal it like
a vandal & no complication is
too big for him to handle.

Well well well. I was looking through my computadora,
& I found a bunch of old pictures & I just thought I'd share.
Its amazing how much I've changed, lol. But hey thats life.

ITS Me & Sam's 13TH BIRTHDAY PARTY!! LOL




(Im the one with the pink hair if you didn't know lol.)
whyy didnt someone kick me in my face?
& the party was loosely 80's themed.
yet fun, & some kind of weird way we got to the pool
& I ended up in that weird silk looking shirt
in the baby pool lol.

NEXT UP .. GOTH PHASE..



haha, Now someone shouldn't definitely hit me in my face.
At pikesville middle this made people hate me tons!!
But at the time I could care less. I was happy me Me & Sam,
This phase lasted a whileee lol.The lil goth/emo me still lives deep
down inside of yours truly .I actually pulled a guy that worked at hot topic,
lol He liked me.Scary right?

Almost normal? Pt 1


Heyy I remember this. Well I used to listen to a bunch of alternative(fall out boy & the academy is etc)
This was when my best friend moved away & I was practically by myself . You can see the slight change in me. hmm I just wore alot of black & white back then too , Anime was big then for me. I used to be an Inuyasha fiend!!


Normal? pt.2






Ha, when I started to succumb to what everyone else was doing. When I realized that
I couldn't be myself anymore. When I decided I had to be like everyone else..
When I lost my individuality .. :/ Gross.




Almost at the end here..
The preppy phase.

& I hated aeropostale then, & I still do now.The days of terrell & stuff. When me & courtney wore Kiddy barrettes & discovered kid cudi. Nike dunks,Skinny jeans ,Hella colors,the cool kids concert ,& Shwayze . When Fendi Supreme & Brooklyn were born . Fun times.



Madd Recent.




Haha. The days of D.M. & before. I guess I was a mixture of everything.
Most of those pictures were madd recent. When I fell in love with my picture chain
& downtown Baltimore . Post cheerleader days , when I was still at pikesville High :/






THE Conclusion :

Past present future man I'll always be the same old weirdo.If you love me , then you've gotta love my history too.Zee End :]

Well.

Ughh I need a hobby.
This whole night school thing gives me tons of free time,
Im starting to really hate maury & jerry springer.
Its the same old thing every other day.
I hate to admit it but I need like a different life.
I want to go to the aquarium explore downtown & stuff,
Go to like art exhibits & stuff.
Something diffrent.
But back to the hobby idea,
Is it dance? is it basketball?
No clue.
But I have to go back to the good old american hustle,
w/ my grandma's bracelets, shit she needs the business.
I'll keep you posted..
-Seraya

Tweet Tweet bitchhhhhhhh Tweet tweet

Oh GOD!

People this twitter madness is getting a lil bit out of hand.
lol

The bumblebee blues.

I love you enough ,
to just let you go .
I really just wanted to let
you know.
I hope your happy where you are.
& whoever your with ,
I'll be here ,
In a loner's bliss.
Man Im tired of
telling you
how I feel.
Man this emotion shit gets you hurt,
Taking advantage of shorty in the skirt.
Im so sick of this,
love is one powerful sickness.


NO MORE BLOGS ABOUT LOVE !
FUCK IT IM DONE.

One written dummy mission

wrote 4/18 exactly .


See now boy ,
This one's for you .
Im soo sick & tired too ,
You lor contension starting SNITCH!
Who really catches an attitude cuz
they cant get a bitch ?
Come the fuck on now you older than me!!
& not to mention I went with your mans
But yet & you still TRIED to hold my hand.
ON ya lor myspace tryna call me a hoe,
But you were the one trying to get me though.
Mann All in my face tryna give me a kiss, Im lucky my braids was in the way
cuz you missed.
Then when ,another dude gets at me .
You catch an attitude,
exactly .
Not to mention you starting rumors,
Tryna fuck shit up & confused huh?
So you can think you got your way.
But I'd rather go with another
BITCH , than be yours anyday,
& the words of ms.
Shears,
Chop chop Nigga you out of here.

-seraya

I wrote this one for my guy friend. :]

You came in ,
soo smoothly.
Your presence iN my life
was like sunlight.
I had on sunglasses,
So I was blocked from the truth,
The warmth In your happiness.
Was the most rotten of fruit,
So I took off those sunglasses.
& what do I see?
you with another nigga
& I know it aint me .
then , I was swept Off my feet.
Ripped open ,in defeat,
My heart exposed to everyone too see.
I gave you all of me.
I love you I admit it,
But For real just fuck it, Forget it.
& press undo .
Because I just hate the fact that I love you.
- seraya

Clipped.

I know why the caged bird sings ,
Fuck that I know why the real caged bird
kicks & screams .
Its because its owner clipped its wings.
& his cage is near a window ,
With a clear view of the outside .
With all the other birds are free to sing & fly.
This one little birdie would rather have died.
Than to suffer such torture & pain,
A bird with no wings
A heart with no veins,
A clock with no time,
this poem with no rhyme.


- Seraya

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

People lately!
They've been testing me like the MSA'S!
Its been ridiculous;
Mother's fathers sisters & brothers alike .
Its been ridiculous.But I'm tired of these pointless battles.
or in the words of Yon ,"dummy missions".DONE,
No where nor more no time soon ,Fuck the fussing,
If your not in my face ready to punch me FORGET IT!
You gets no type of rap. If its on myspace, your deleted.
If you texted me , the text is deleted with no type of response.
& if I do respond its nothing more than an okay. So on &
soo forth.I just dont have the time for
ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNY of it . The stress
& contention is not my thing & I will not waste any of my temper
nor my precious time on Earth for your bull.
Rapping all this up .haha now you have to limit your hatred of me
to a convo with your home girl. Ladies get your act together & keep your
mouth shut !! Niggas keeo it in your pants & dont get mad when I dont want it .
Cause
I JUSTTTTTTTTTTTTTT DONT GIVEEEEEEEEE AHHHHHHHHH FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!




-Seraya out !

revized .

I feel as though I have some clarification to do .
Like an apology I owe..
To you .
Like in the relationship we once had,
When it was good things never went bad.
& then it all ended & thats when the drama started , That
whole situation was completely retarded.
& i felt there was some things that
we just should just undo.
Like the fussing & fighting.
True it made something stronger,
& it fucked our shit up even longer.
The worst feelings I began to harbor.
Then your presence in my life became a bother.
But as days & nights, then weeks went by,
Through all the tears, I had to cry.
I realized that the words __(your name)__.& hate,
Honestly in no way I could relate.
I loved you, Because you made me better.
& the reason Why i wrote you that
sour love letter.Is because
I thought , you'd rather see me down, Hated me ,
& traded me for some new girl in town.
But to give you up,
Hmm never.
A friend, a lover , whatever.
I got a feeling you'll be around for a while.
Through all the bad weather.

Stop..Wait..What?

Well I was looking around the internet for something new, to listen to . & I found this.
"What it is " by a Tpain's all girl group called Sophia fresh .They were actually in T pain's video chopped & screwed lol.This is their debut viddy for there album kiddies! I kinda like it .. a little bit, not my cup of tea.
There's a version of this song with Kanye in it too!
The video concept is all over the place & the stuttering thing annoys me a bit. I was waiting for the girl Cole Rose to say something but, well she didn't .I kinda like her style though.. Day 26 cameos Much ? If Que don't stop licking them lips.. omggggggggggggg lol..
Enjoy.
:]

For you My dear/for you my ex.

Ohhh motherfucker you did it again,
I may have said it before this is the end,
You lure me in with your bitter twisted lies,
you can save your words,Your weed & shit.
& you know how I am but you proceed with it?
Trying to ruin my spirit ,
Tryna Make me a dummy ,
Tryna spread dirty rumors so people CAN Look at me funny,
Yeah you really messed up boo,
Because Seraya D. jones will be the last Girl to fuck you.

you can't handle the flow of my words,
You can't even tiptoe around the intellegence my brain contains,
The fluency of my words is vulgar & congruent to a speech of a scholar,
yours on the other hand was sold for a dollar.
your not my equal & your pick up lines are pathetic,
& yet I fell for you I know I regret it,
Because you add nothing benificial to my life but madness & confusion.
any feelings you had for me are a complete illusion.
& your the magician ,
But your no david blane,
I'd really prefer it if you forgot my number & my name.

Some People..

Just Blow me. Like when they break up with the one they once held close ,Then they go & talk shit about that same exact person."Yeah so & so this & that" , Well you Must've liked both this & that you went with yo .Yeahh .. thought soo .Why can you just accept your diffrences & move on. Some people blow me. Maturity level of some individuals is at 0%.
GROW THE FUCK UP!.

thank you & have a nice day

Here's to you .

I've Been told I wear my heart on my sleeve.
It keeps getting older.
But why is it you that I cant ever get over.
Yes the distance was a bitch ,
& completely unfair.
But these other guys dont
seem to compare.
I miss you Im sorry,& many words unspoken.
For once Seraya D. Jones Just Got her heart broken.

Kinda off?

Well I was watching some show on Vh1 where they were doing some song countdown & There was this one song

that struck me as completely shocking. "Dear God" by XTC, is haunting,strongly atheistic & mesmerizing. The message hits you like a ton of bricks & Makes you think .
here it is .


Its extremely righteous.
I kinda Like it, but hey thats me,
Seraya.D

All Taken by myself.

Lol I hate being home .

&&&





,
Urban jungle.

In the City of God.

Well Due to my recent punishment/suspension; I've been watching a lot of movies laid around my house. Doing so I found an amazinng movie called; City of god or keeping with the constant portuguese that's spoken in the movie Cidade de Deus. Directed by Fernando Meirelles.

Well its basically about this boy named Rocket & his growing up in the slums of Rio De Janeiro, In a place called City Of God, where there's madd drug use & sale,murder,poverty,& the slightest bit of love; well like in these things called favelas . Now if you thought ghetto baltimore was bad , this place doesn't even have paved roads , the police barely come around,etc etc. Rocket is an aspiring photographer & you can only imagine how hard it is for him.

I recently found out that before it was a movie it was actually a novel,[that I NEED] written by Paulo Lins & both the novel & the book WERE BASED ON A TRUE STORY ! :]

My favorite character would have to be ..

Bene, played by Phellipe Haagensen, pictured above. Bene , is the most beloved & compassionate hood in the favelas.
im in love .

A breath of Fresh Air

let there be babehhhhhhhhh hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:]

Welcome to Heartbreak.

Love;
A topic that has recently been haunting me. I currently have a significant other but love is something I honestly dont feel anymore .Its like Im [in the words of mr.West] ....
Heartless. & I hate it.
Its like when your in a relationship with someone that you really like, others come out of nowhere,
that you've previously had feelings for & confuse you,mangle your thoughts & get your "heart" all tied up in knots that are as unmanageable as matted hair.Then there's the new person that you care for & want to give your all too but all you can give them is a heart that looks like ground beef*.
& NO ONE LIKES GROUND BEEF HEARTS !! NOT EVEN IN TACOS!!


So as regain my composure I mind as well spill the situation.
Okay so I go with this wonderful guy [who shall remain nameless], who I really Reallly like.
& at one point even loved. But the distance thing has been a major burden & is currently the only thing weighing us down. But to make matter's worse ; some of my exes[& even dome newbies] have came out of the clear blue sky with emotions towards me,some harder than other's to turn down with a simple"Im in a relationship " Bit.& some I actually did miss.
Meanwhile,There's mister number one in my corner on myside, & I feel like a complete cookie jar, but I still have to give all of what he deserves too him. BLAHSAY BLAHSAY BLAH.

This is a sticky situation.

If I ever get out of this , Im single for a lil while.
Im sorry Mister #1 , Im trying my hardest.

Aint nothing like a Brooklyn Girl.

Well Here Iam ,
Back on my blogspot again.
Its been a longtime,
August of 08 when i started,
to February 09 to where i am today.
Im experiencing more,
& I'll jot it down here in my free time.
Its my open book,

take time to read it:]

I take a deep breath in..

& Close my eyes.
& Dream of what I want to be.
My legs move foreward me through the battle,
while the winds of reality push me back.
The light sunrays dance behind my Eyelids.
Taunting me as I get the slightest bit ahead.
Shadows claw at my heels.
My stride gets shaky & when Im about to fall
& My dark dreams are brought to life;
I regain my composure
& when I open my eyes,
I've become a martyr.
-Completely wrote by me.1:44 a.m